Oh my goodness, thank you all so much. I have completely SOLD OUT of Doris’s Lube.

Face Repair serum available – more luscious that Clarins and 100% better for the environment – Rise N’ Shine is £30 per 10 ml, posted


Her name was Doris. Doris from Israel. She was over here in Tory town on holiday and ended up teaching and coaching. She was a sex therapist. She taught me how to make lube for any woman. You cannot imagine how silky it is until you try it. It’s made from a high grade good coconut oil, which is thinned down with rose oils and my own aloe veras.

One of the neighbours dared me to let her try a bit and I said, aye, sure. Well, the next thing I knew she wanting to try it ON me. One thing led to another, as it surely does and you cannot imagine the trouble I am now in with her and her other various lovers.

There’s a true art to making a lubricant any woman will love. You can adjust the ingredients a little, here and there as you please. This one needs to be warmed up, so that the oils can gently mix and the coconut melts. There’s no jelly like oooze or greasy buttery nonsense. This lube is like your own skin, with added glide.

Doris is gorgeous. She is utter goddess. We were drawn together. She told me my light was too bright for many people. She taught me to make lubes for women over an entire summer. She meditates with candles and incense before she starts. She removes through her feet and songs any bit of ill will she may feel to anyone in the world, so that nothing but love can go into her making. Doris studied sex therapy for 30 years. Moisture, water, intimacy says Doris. I have been using this technique, though not even remotely as well as Doris. I make lubricants and the villagers in Tory Town buy them IN SECRET and then they bitch about me behind my back. Sometimes I feel like her out of “Chocolat’

More lube on sale…..I’m gonna start posting this stuff out because I can’t handle these folk turning up at ma house. Get in touch below if you need….
DORIS LUBE is £10 per 500 ml, posted. Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back!